Next week will mark the beginning of a new year, but this last year has caused me to reflect on a number of things I would like to do differently.
It is typical to plan a healthier lifestyle, better financial management and develop more positive outlooks for the start of any new year. But a tragic event in 2016 has caused me to think deeper about what I would like to accomplish in 2017.
That tragedy was the sudden passing of my dear friend Kyle Wallace. To the community, he was a beloved coach, positive mentor and dedicated family man.
But to me, he was simply Kyle. And he was one of my good friends.
His wife Jamie and I have been good friends for years. Having met in college, it was nice to already know someone when I relocated to Yazoo City after getting married.
With Jamie’s friendship came a friendship with her husband Kyle.
Kyle and I hit it off instantly. I was welcomed in their home almost like family, and our friendship developed into a valuable relationship that I cherish to this day. I was one of the lucky ones who got to know Kyle off the field and beyond the halls of school.
We laughed together. Our children played together. We had inside jokes. And we held meaningful conversations that remain in my mind.
He was a giant in stature, but to me, Kyle was a kind soul whose heart was even bigger.
I am honored to say I knew him, and even more respectful that he valued our friendship.
I can recall that tragic day when he passed inside the gym at Bentonia-Gibbs. Within hours of hearing the news, I was at the Wallace home. Over the course of the next few days, it was a rollercoaster of emotions as everyone tried to pick up the pieces.
It is still extremely hard to deal with Kyle being gone. Flipping through personal photographs, I often uncover a few of him. With his signature smile, every memory was good. And a few tears are often replaced with a laugh and a smile when I reflect on his precious life.
But through this tragedy, I plan to take something from it in the new year.
Focus on what really matters in life. Live it to the fullest. Make sure the people you love know it.
I have a problem sometimes thinking I am invincible. I will soon turn 35 years old, but in my mind I still feel like that carefree 20-something that has plenty of time to get it right.
But we all lose a little more time with every passing day.
My friends and I are beginning to realize that we are getting older. We are not guaranteed another day.
And as I sat in the funeral service of my friend Kyle, it felt unreal. I shouldn’t be here. This isn’t happening. We are young.
I held onto my kids a little tighter that evening. I looked my husband in the eyes and told him how much I loved him. I didn’t worry about the mess in my house or the bills on the counter.
I began to take stock in what really mattered.
I hope to continue that mindset into 2017, and put my faith and time into the things that really mean something.
Faith, family, friends...those things matter over work, appearance, status....
It still strikes me as unreal when I visit Jamie and her two amazing children. I almost expect Kyle to be sitting on the couch, ready to greet me when I walk in.
There is an empty seat instead.
But Kyle is still there. I see him inside the home he was creating for his family. I see him in the eyes of his children. I see him in the love that Jamie holds.
I typically write my columns on personal memories, on being a wife and a mother. But this is one I dedicate to the end of the year, and the memory of my friend.
He taught me more than he knew. And he inspired me to leave the world a little better than I found it. He taught me to hug my children more. He taught me to love my husband harder than ever. He taught me to laugh, and laugh big, with my friends.
And his memory reminds me every day to soak it all in, every moment.
That is my resolution for 2017. Love, laugh and live to the fullest extent.
And as I go through each day, I know that it will always be “all right, all right, all right.”
