I am slowly beginning to learn that I must be a complete nerd, geek…whatever description you would like to give a person who, for lack of a better word, is embarrassing.
There was a time when I thought I had all my ducks in a row. I had some “nerdy” tendencies. But, for the most part, I thought I was somewhat popular person.
But two of my three children have persuaded me otherwise. Yes, my sweet children have transformed into that “pre-teen” era when everything is considered. From taste in music to clothing to mannerisms…everything is on trial with my eldest son James and my only daughter Elsie.
Thank goodness I have my baby son Jase, who accepts me for who I am. If I want to dance in the living room to the Rat Pack, he is right there to join in. When I wear a perhaps obnoxious hat, he wants to put one on that is just as bad.
But the other (judges) children have reached that age when what you say, do, wear or listen to is based upon what the crowd will think.
Getting ready to head out the door to drop them off at school led to a knock-down, drag-out over my fashion ensemble. Blame it on COVID or my expanding waistline, but I decided to wear some black pants with an elastic waistband.
“Are you really wearing that,” James asked, putting his lunch inside his book bag.
“What’s wrong with it,” I asked, tugging at the side of my pants.
Enter the eye roll and sigh of anguish from a 12-year-old kid, who only recently learned how to part his hair.
Enter Elsie…my ticket out of this. Surely, being a girl, she will see that my pants were perfectly fine.
“Daddy,” she bellowed, throwing her hands in the air. “Momma is wearing her pajamas to drop us off.”
“These are not pajamas,” I replied. “These are regular pants, and they are comfortable.”
Needless to say, I was outnumbered. My husband Jason took the kids to school that morning. And, he has been requested to take them every morning.
I decided I could at least pick them up from school that afternoon. Yes, I changed into nicer dress pants with much resistance. No big deal. But as soon as the passenger door opened, my confidence fell to the floor again.
“Turn that down,” Elsie said, turning the volume button on the radio to the lowest it would go. “What are you blaring?”
“What’s wrong with the Rolling Stones,” I asked. “This is a great song. Everybody likes the Rolling Stones.”
“It was too loud,” she replied. “Everybody in the pickup line heard about your wild horses. So embarrassing…”
For the last two weeks, I have been informed that my fashion could use some updating. My music is too loud. Even my television shows are “not cool.” Since when did Little House on the Prairie turn “uncool?” Dang it, the show was on for a decade.
When did I suddenly become “uncool?” Meanwhile, Jason is considered the coolest person on the planet.
He wears camouflage all day when he’s at home, listens to 40-minute jam sessions and watches wrestling like he thinks it’s real.
But I’m the dork?
But, my dear readers, I have used these recent developments to my advantage. When the kids are acting crazy in the morning on the way to school, I threaten to put on my pajama pants and walk them to the door. Getting crazy at a red light? I can turn the Lion King soundtrack to full blast and let the windows down. Won’t settle down at home? Looks like a five-hour binge session of Little House is in order.
It is starting to work. But maybe I am starting to work on them a little bit to.
Just the other day, Elsie had a total mismatched outfit on. But she didn’t care because she thought she looked cute and was comfortable. I caught James thumping his knee to the Beach Boys. And the entire family is curious if Mary will regain her eyesight on Little House.
I may be uncool, dress unfashionably, listen to loud music and watch “corny” television shows. But I am still their Momma, and they love me.
Let me wrap this up…I have to pick them up soon from school. I have just enough time to change clothes but the Stones are staying.