It has only been a week since our oldest son James has returned to school. But this year feels completely different. It feels so sudden, so final.
James is now a senior at Yazoo County High School. And as he approaches his 18th birthday in December and an upcoming graduation ceremony next May, this Momma is not ready. I have always heard older parents tell me that time flies. I knew that and agreed with them. But I naively thought I had more time. And as I continue to fill out forms, marking “senior,” it makes my eyes fill with tears. I can only imagine how I am going to be the remainder of this last year.
Your firstborn is a special child. It is almost like they grow with you as parents, both unsure of the correct way to do this thing called life.
When it came to returning to school, I can remember those moments when James was so particular about his clothes, his school supplies, his book bag and his lunch box. I will miss those dinosaur pocket folders. I will miss the Monster Truck clothing set. I will miss the shark bookbag. I will even miss the Transformer lunch box he found of Jason’s at his grandmother’s house.
And what about filling out those Valentine cards? What about Homecoming dress-up dances? Will there ever be another Muffins with Mom? No more field trip forms? Those late nights finishing up our bug poster or science fair project?
Now we are filling out college applications. We are exploring career options. We are searching for scholarship opportunities.
We are preparing for James’ future. I should be excited, but I’m sad as well.
It has only been the first week so I must slow down and really soak up these last moments. I didn’t even mind it so much folding his laundry last night.
One day he will leave. And, as parents, that is the goal: to prepare them for the real world. I need to remember that when I visit my own Momma. Even as an adult, she bakes me cookies and folds my clothes when I visit.
And now I know why she still does.
