This past week my husband Jason and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.
And even after a decade together with three children, a dog and a mortgage…we still have no idea what we are doing. But, come to think of it, I don’t think anybody ever really does.
It has been a rollercoaster of a ride. We remain deeply in love, are dedicated to our three little munchkins, manage to keep a semi-stable home and invest in our careers and community through our work at The Yazoo Herald.
But we have had our share of bumps along the way. From pulling our hair out with each child’s tantrum to counting pennies to make ends meet to shouting at our computers screens when work hits a road bump…we have seen and encountered just about any obstacle you can think of.
But we have stuck it out.
When Jason and I first got married 11 years ago, the world was our oyster. We were beginning to slowly progress in our jobs here at the newspaper. We had an affordable house we rented right in the middle of town. We had managed to save a little bit of money. We were able to travel and learn new things. And all the while, we were nicely adjusting to married life.
Then, life hit us. The idea of becoming parents scared us to death as we later found out we were pregnant with our firstborn son. We jumped off the deep end into one of the biggest investments at the time; our first home. We were succeeding at work, but that meant longer hours and larger loads. We began to crack a few of those eggs we had saved up in our nest. And we were beginning to notice little “things” about each other that drove us crazy.
We then became parents, and we still had no clue what we were doing. Our candlelight dinners in front of the fireplace were replaced with a quick hot dog while I balanced a bottle and kid on my hip. Our new house meant projects, and my “honey-do” list began to aggravate Jason. Our nest eggs were completely gone, and rolled pennies sometimes became our payment of choice. And we began to tell each other, pretty bluntly, what annoyed us. (Jason still sneezes entirely too loud and I have the uncanny ability to turn an argument around with a few tears and/or the silent treatment).
And what did we decide to do as we tried to make sense of our crazy new life together? Why have another child of course! Let’s add a baby daughter to the mix.
Now we weren’t having many dinners together at all. Rolled pennies was considered the high life. And those annoying habits? They continued to grow. (Jason sometimes goes into a daze when I talk to him about something he doesn’t really want to hear, and I hit the snooze button too much apparently).
Now what? Let’s have another kid, of course! Our man cub Jase is added into the equation.
Dinner together? We have to schedule it in between baseball practice and ballet recitals. Money? I wouldn’t know how to spend since we rarely have it. Annoying habits? There isn’t enough ink here.
Gone are the days of snuggling together on the couch watching a movie. Gone are the days of eating a fine steak in front of a roaring fire. Gone are the days of having money to spend on whatever our hearts desire.
But, even as we continue to roll pennies and scratch our heads bald, we are probably the richest we have ever been in our lives.
We may not spend as much time alone as we used to, but we value those moments even more when we do get a chance. We are not just a couple anymore but a family filled with excitement and chaos. We are not rolling in the dough but we are sliding into home with peanuts and a smile. We are not as free as we used to be to spend and travel, but we are secure with love and laughter.
Marriage and raising families are hard jobs. If it was easy, more people would do it. If it was all fun and games every marriage would last.
Yes, we are winging it. Yes, we are clueless. And yes, we are coming in on two wheels.
But it’s one heck of a ride that only a few can travel and remain sane. So, buckle up. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, but it’s one that’s well worth the ticket.
