As the hustle and the bustle of the holiday season comes to a close, I have recently discovered the best gift I have given my family.
It wasn’t found under a decorated Christmas tree. It wasn’t wrapped with a huge bow on top. And it wasn’t in the form of money or a material item.
We have turned the television off, moved the TV trays out of the way and started having family dinner together. The dinner table, which was a hand-me-down from my husband’s grandparents, has seen its share of family dinners from generations before us. But now it is the center of our own family’s supper time.
With so many activities and other obligations constantly pulling at every family member, it became super easy to just grab a plate and plop down in the living room in front of the television. Our meals are almost rushed through to the point that eating is even a scheduled event.
In an effort to work on one of my new year resolutions, I decided to start having supper at the table with no phones, no electronics, nothing. It is just a table with plates of food and each other.
At first, I thought there would be resistance. But I was surprised when our three kids seemed excited about the idea. They were practically begging for it. That made me even feel guilty for a moment. The simple act of eating together was so happily accepted from our kids that I felt bad for not noticing it before.
For the past several suppers, all five of us have gathered together around the family table. We pray together, eat together, laugh together, and yes, even settle a few arguments at times. We also started a deal where we go around the table and each person shares the best moment from their day. It made me feel like my husband Jason and I were doing something right when they sometimes reply, “eating like this.”
Many times, our youngest son Jase will come to me at the end of long day and ask, “can we eat as a family?” When it is asked like that, it is a request you have to fill.
I would love to tell you that every supper goes off with no problems and that we gather around the fireplace afterwards and exist in harmony. Some nights are good, but there are some nights that arguments have to be diffused and time-outs are distributed. But I think we are on the right, and even normal, track.
Looking through old family photographs, I notice there is a trend of my ancestors gathering together on the front porch with instruments. There are a few photographs of quilting parties. I know that some of those activities are long gone, but the concept is still there. There is a gathering of the family.
In fact, many of those old family photographs show candid shots of my ancestors gathered around a table, with eating and fellowship.
What surprised me looking at those old photographs is that many of the meals on that old family table were not much to brag about in some cases. A plate of meat, a few potatoes and a few strands of green beans are all to be seen. Granted, the photograph may have been taken after a hearty meal was consumed. But based on my family’s poor upbringing, I can almost bet you that many of those meals were made with what they had to offer. Having said that, even with a small amount of food, they gathered as a family. And they all had smiles on their faces...most of the time anyway.
The eating and gathering around the table as a family is something that has been part of my family history spanning back many generations. Even though it would only be the two of us, my mother always made it a point to eat together at a table at the end of the day. Sometimes those meals were had during the early morning hours when she got off the graveyard shift as a nurse. But regardless of the time of the day, a meal was had between us.
This is a tradition that I hope to continue with my family. I know there will be days when a quick bite to eat in the car on the way to a sport game will have to do. But I am going to sincerely try harder when it comes to a moment of togetherness at the end of the day.
It is my hope that our kids will remember the times around that table. I hope they remember the warm food, the laughter, the gratitude of “the best moment,” the prayers and being surrounded by family.
And just maybe that warmth they feel isn’t coming from the food but rather the moment.
