Southerners have a way of speaking that many people can’t really understand. This is never more evident than when I visit my sister in San Francisco. It is not always the accent, but the way we word things.
Today I have a spin on what we say in the South when certain situations occur.
Anger
“She had a hissy fit.” If you add “with a tail on it” – it was really bad.”
Bad Character
“You are lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.”
Busy
“I’m busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox.”
Being Broke
“I’m so broke I can’t pay attention.”
Being Cheap
“He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.”
Conceit and Vanity
“Well ain’t she all gussied up!”
These always refer to women, apparently Southern men do not fall into this category.
Confused
“She is as lost as last year’s Easter egg.”
Dress Not
Appropriate
“Those pants are so tight you can see her religion.”
“She is gonna have old and new monia dressed like that.”
Dry Weather
“It is so dry that the trees are bribing the dogs.”
Happiness
“He’s as happy as if he had good sense.”
Irritated
“She could make a preacher cuss.”
Laziness
“He’s about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule.”
Liars
“If his lips are moving, he’s lying.”
“That dog won’t hunt.”
Stupid
“If they had an idea, it would die of loneliness.”
“His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.”
Ugly
“He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
Hungry
“My stomach thinks my throat’s been cut.”
Weight
“She’s so skinny you can’t see her shadow.
“If she were an inch taller, she’d be round.”
Some we just can’t do without
“I wouldn’t spit on her if she caught on fire.”
“If you can’t run with the big dogs, then stay on the porch.”
“In the South, we call sushi – bait.”
“He was as nervous as a long- tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
My all-time favorite: “Bless his/her heart.”
You can say anything in the world you want to say about somebody as long as you end it with this phrase.
Today I have some easy ideas for your main dish – using a slow cooker and a whole chicken. I hope you will give them a try. Thanks for reading!
EASY SLOW COOKER CHICKEN
1 whole chicken (4-6 pounds)
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. ground thyme
1 tsp. ground white pepper
½ tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. black pepper
Mix spices together in a small bowl; rub seasoning mixture over the entire chicken to evenly season. Put chicken in a large resealable plastic bag; refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Remove chicken from bag and place in slow cooker on Low and cook for 6-8 hours, depending on the size of the chicken. The chicken should no longer be pink near the bone and juices should run clear.
SLOW COOKER LEMON PEPPER CHICKEN
1 whole chicken
¼ cup softened butter
1 tsp. lemon pepper seasoning
1 1-inch thick lemon slice
2 minced cloves of garlic
2 Tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. seasoned salt
1 tsp. dried thyme
Pinch of black pepper
Pat chicken dry with paper towel and use your fingers to loosen the skin over the breasts and thighs. Stir butter and lemon pepper in a small bowl and insert with your fingers beneath the loosened skin using a spoon. Place the lemon slice and garlic cloves into the chicken cavity. Place chicken in slow cooker. Rub with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoned salt, thyme, and black pepper. Cook on High for 3 hours and reduce to Low to cook for 3 more hours. You may also cook just on Low for 6-8 hours.
