Question: You've been happily married for more than fifty years now. Have you ever been tempted to be unfaithful to your wife? What are the danger points that those of us who are younger should watch for?
Answer: Honestly, I have never even considered cheating on Shirley. The very thought of hurting her and inviting God's judgment is more than enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. Furthermore, I would never destroy the specialness we shared for all these years. But even marriages that are based on that kind of commitment are not immune to Satan's attacks.
He laid a trap for me during a time of particular vulnerability. Shirley and I had been married just a few years when we had a minor fuss. It was no big deal, but we both were pretty agitated at the time. I got in the car and drove around for about an hour to cool off. Then when I was on the way home, a very attractive girl drove up beside me in her car and smiled. She was obviously flirting with me. Then she slowed down, looked back, and turned onto a side street. I knew she was inviting me to follow her.
I didn't take the bait. I just went on home and made up with Shirley. But I thought later about how vicious Satan had been to take advantage of the momentary conflict between us. The Scriptures refer to the devil as "a roaring lion” seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8, KJV). I could see how true that description really is. He knew his best opportunity to damage our marriage was during that hour or two when we were irritated with each other. That is typical of his strategy. He'll lay a trap for you, too, and it'll probably come at a time of vulnerability. Beautiful, enticing, forbidden fruit will be offered to you when your hunger is greatest. If you are foolish enough to reach for it, your fingers will sink into the rotten mush on the back side. That's the way sin operates in our lives. It promises everything. It delivers nothing but disgust and heartache.
There will be many temptations, of course. The primary danger will come from the intense longings that burn within each of us--many of them tugging us toward what is morally wrong. It has been my observation that whatever a person hungers for, Satan will appear to offer in exchange for a spiritual compromise. If illicit sex is your desire, it will eventually be within easy reach. Don't be surprised when you are beckoned by a willing partner. If your passion is for fame or power for its own sake, that prize will be promised (even if never delivered). Remember that Jesus was offered bread following His forty-day fast in the wilderness. He was promised power and glory after He had been contemplating His upcoming road to the cross. My point is that Satan uses our keenest appetites to tempt us.
These are a few of the fundamentals for young people like you who are determined, with the apostle Paul, to fight a good fight, finish the course, and keep the faith (2 Timothy 4:7). I can tell you that you will not be able to accomplish this in your own strength and dedication. But it will be achieved only by dependence on the One who has promised to walk with you every day of your life.
Another important principle is to avoid the circumstances where compromise is likely. A girl who wants to preserve her virginity should not find herself in a house or dorm room alone with someone to whom she is attracted. Nor should she single-date with someone she has no reason to trust. A guy who wants to be moral should stay away from the girl he knows would go to bed with him. Remember the words of Solomon to his son: "Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house" (Proverbs 5:8).
I know this advice sounds very narrow in a day when virginity is mocked and chastity is considered old-fashioned. But I don't apologize for it. The Scriptures are eternal, and God's standards of right and wrong do not change with the whims of culture. He will honor and help those who are trying to follow His commandments. In fact, the apostle Paul said, "He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Hold that promise and continue to use your head. You'll be glad you did.
From Dr. Dobson’s book, The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide
