When I was in high school, your level of popularity was determined by the number of people who signed your annual or the crowd that surrounded you at the lunch table.
It was all about having hundreds of friends who determined your status in the school hallways and at all the social events on the weekend. It wasn’t about quality...it was all about quantity.
The more friends you had surrounding you meant you had interesting things to say, you had unique places to be, you had earth-shattering thoughts...the world was your oyster.
I had friends like this, and I thought we would know each other forever. We would all live close to each other. Our kids would play together. We would have cookouts every weekend. We would be in each other’s weddings, baby baptisms, you name it.
We all graduated high school with the future mapped out for us, and it all included this massive group of friends who had been through thick and thin.
But then, the phone suddenly stopped ringing. The knocks on the door became scarce. The get-togethers soon evolved into mere handshakes at the local grocery store.
You caught yourself flipping through that old annual and wondering what ever became of some of your true blue friends.
Those same friends were beside you every time you were somewhere you usually weren’t supposed to be. Those same friends had your back when the rivals came calling. Those same friends were eager to ride with you to every party that lasted well into the night.
Granted, those memories are probably some you will never forget. And you will probably recall them with tears from laughter at the next class reunion.
But now those same friends couldn’t be found.
What happened?
I am now 34 years old, and I do still keep in touch with several friends from my childhood. In this age of social media, it is easy to peruse through the past decade of a former close friend’s life.
But out of the hundreds of friends I considered during my high school years, I only keep constant contact with two. That’s right...only two.
Now that I am an adult, I have exchanged quantity for quality. I am not a popular person when it comes to the number of people in my circle, the number of invites I get to a weekend social event or the amount of “likes” I get on my Facebook page.
In fact, I can count my current best friends on one hand. And that’s perfect for me.
I have traded “lots” of friends for real ones.
And I considered myself the luckiest person in the world for having the loving and caring friends I have today.
I don’t have to name names because they all know who they are.
Real friends are the ones who celebrate with you when you have reached the high note. But they are also the ones who stand by you when you have dropped to your lowest point.
Real friends laugh with you, laugh loud. But they shed tears with you, cry hard.
Real friends are the first to meet you after work because you had a bad day and just need to vent. But they are also the first at your house when you just need a helping hand.
Real friends don’t call only when they need something. They also pick up every conversation from the previous one.
Real friends lift you up when your spirits are low. But they also humble you when you have gone too far.
Real friends say encouraging words, push you to your goals. But they are also brutally honest and tell you what you might not want to hear.
Real friends are always there...period.
They are there in the times of celebration, the turmoils of sorrow. They are there when it’s time to rebuild, regroup. And they are there when it seems like the world is against you.
There may only be a few beside you when times get tough. But those are the strong ones you want on your team.
So, to that, I thank all my real friends out there who may be reading this.
I love you. I laugh with you. I cry with you. I’ll try to fix things with you. And I will live life with you right by my side.
After all, that’s what friends do. They stand by you and hold you up.
And in the end, you all lean on each other.
