We were thankful this dinner was over
Last Thanksgiving marked the first holiday in our new house.
My husband Jason and I decided to host the Thanksgiving celebration so that family members could see our new place.
Well, the idea was a good one. But it didn’t work out as planned.
I awoke about the time the sun made its appearance. I wanted everything to be perfect for our first holiday in our new home.
Within a few hours, the pumpkin pie was ready to be sliced. The green beans had just enough flavor to them. The macaroni and cheese was piping hot. The table was set with our good china. Our son James was cleaned up, and Jason was out of his hunting gear.
Thanksgiving in the Patterson home was ready to start...almost.
We had to wait on Momma to get there from Vicksburg. She and Maw Maw were coming in around noon.
Now I love Momma to death, but she has a habit of dragging her feet.
That lady will take an hour just to leave her house. She just takes her time doing everything. It takes her 15 minutes to find her purse. It takes another 10 minutes to comb her hair and splash some powder on her nose. It takes more time to load the car up and get Maw Maw in the passenger seat.
And this year Momma was in charge of bringing the ham and dressing.
My phone rang at noon. Instead of Momma pulling into the driveway, she informed me they were just leaving Vicksburg.
“Momma and Maw Maw are just now leaving Vicksburg,” I said, stepping into our living room.
“Just now leaving,” Jason asked.
That statement was followed by Jason’s famous eye rolling thing. He never actually says anything, but I get the idea through his facial expressions.
An hour later, the car finally pulled up in the driveway. Jason and I made our way outside to help unload the car.
That is when I heard the passenger door swing open, and Maw Maw’s keys jingling in her hand.
“Why do you live so far out,” she hollered.
Maw Maw is hard of hearing so when she speaks, the whole neighborhood hears.
“Maw Maw, it’s not that far out,” I said, grabbing the dressing. “It just seems that far because ya’ll drove from Vicksburg.”
Maw Maw complained about the distance the whole way up the porch steps. She even informed us that if we ever needed an ambulance, they’d probably never find us in time.
Once we finally all got inside, Momma turned on the oven.
“Why are you turning that on,” I asked. “Everything is ready.”
“I gotta cook the dressing,” she said.
Jason quietly exited the room. James took a sigh. I stood in silence.
“You mean you haven’t cooked it,” I asked. “We gotta wait on the dressing.”
“What,” Maw Maw bellowed. “The dressing ain’t cooked? My goodness! It’s gonna be supper time before we eat.’
If Maw Maw had her way, dinner would have been eaten by 10:30 a.m.
We all sat in the living room, waiting on the dressing to cook. By the time 1:30 p.m. rolled around, the bottom fell out.
“Why aren’t we eating yet,” Maw Maw asked. “What’s taking so long? I always cooked my dressing the night before.”
The lecture continued until out of desperation, Momma took the dressing out. It looked fine and smelled good. So we finally got to Thanksgiving dinner.
I took one bite of the dressing and almost got sick. The dressing was not cooked...at all. It was still soft, soggy and just plain bad.
But nobody said anything. Nobody but Maw Maw.
“This dressing ain’t cooked all the way,” she said, followed by a shoulder shrug.
We all sat in silence. James snacked away on a piece of ham. I finished off my soda pop. Jason began eyeing his hunting gear. Momma poked around at her bread.
“Why is no one eating that potato salad I brought,” Maw Maw continued, breaking the silence.
“We are, but you brought a 50 gallon jug of it,” I said. “It just looks like nobody has taken a bite.”
Momma began snickering under her breath. I flashed a smile back at her. It was understood that Maw Maw was the way she was, and she wasn’t gonna change... not even for Thanksgiving.
The rest of the day went well. There were no more jokes, no more comments about the dressing.
This year, I was real quick this week to call ahead of time to let the family know the Pattersons would be heading down home.
I am in charge of the dressing this year. And believe me, it’s getting cooked the night before.
I just hope Maw Maw tones down her potato salad jug this year, or I may be joining Jason in the deer stand.