I guess boys are born that way
I was sweeping the floor when our son James can tumbling in the back door, out of breath and on the verge of being out of his mind.
“Momma, did you see that,” he asked, with his eyes about the size of baseballs.
Normally, I would have kept on sweeping. But something was out of place.
James was breathing in and out like a mad man. His hair was sticking out in all sorts of directions. His tan face had changed into a deep shade of red. Grass stains were all over his sweatpants. There was even a stick lodged in his shoelaces.
“See what,” I asked, putting my hand on my hip.
“Nothing,” he shouted, running back outside.
I looked out the window and saw my husband Jason standing there in a state of confusion. It was as of he was waiting on something.
I later found out that evening Jason was waiting on something....for me to ring his neck.
James had almost killed himself coming down the hill behind our house on his Big Wheel. And it was all Jason’s fault.
You can’t blame a kid for doing something ridiculous. They don’t know any better. But when a grown man still thinks like a kid, they deserve a good lashing sometimes.
I was cleaning the house, and the boys were outside tending to yard duty when I saw the accident happening before it did.
While Jason was raking leaves, James was barreling down a steep hill while driving his plastic Big Wheel.
Jerking the back door open, I yelled my typical-Momma warning.
“Don’t let him go down that hill,” I shouted to Jason. “He’s gonna flip and break his neck.”
“He’ll be fine,” Jason responded. “You worry too much.”
“Do what I said,” I said, closing the door.
What I said was not done because James did flip down the hill.
Going a hundred miles an hour down down that steep hill probably was a lot of fun, but it didn’t take long before his luck ran out.
On about the fifth trip down the hill the front tire fell into a hole created by a mole in the hillside. James went flying into the air, before rolling down the hill. He flipped forward with his feet over his head as he was thrown from his Big Wheel.
I didn’t see any of this because I had foolishly believed the boys were going to follow my orders and had returned to my sweeping.
Jason snatched James up, checked for broken bones, cuts to the head or any other serious injuries. He then dusted the boy off as if flipping down a hill at a high rate of speed was a perfectly normal activity.
When Jason wasn’t looking, James ran inside to me to see if I had seen his Evil Knievel stunt. He described the whole thing with great enthusiasm as if it were a notable accomplishment.
When I later discovered what happened, I gave Jason a lecture once James was tucked away in bed that night.
“I told you what would happen, but I am the one who doesn’t know what I am talking about,” I said. “When will you learn that mothers see things happening before they actually happen. I knew he was gonna come tumbling down that hill.”
Jason continued to blame the mole hole. He even had the nerve to say James “took it like a man.”
That is when it dawned on me that Jason must have had plenty of similar accidents when he was a child because he clearly wasn’t thinking straight. I am all for boys having fun, but when you start getting into the broken bones department...let’s tone it down a little.
I know James can’t help it if he does a couple of ridiculous tricks. He’s a boy, and that’s just what they do.
And considering I usually see Jason laughing right behind James and often actually participating during all these escapades...they must all be born that way.